Action starts here
This is often the piece that managers and leaders miss out on....and yet it's the most critical piece in the tough conversation. You've done all the hard work in getting ready, setting up the conversation, in clarifying the behaviours...but this is not the time to let out a sigh of relief by dumping your stuff and cutting the conversation off.
You've got to get them involved in the conversation too. Why??
Because the results start in the room. If you want the other person to come out of the conversation more active, engaged and solution-focused then they need to be these things in the conversation.
The behaviours that you witness in the small window of a conversation can be a petrie dish example of some of the behaviours that happen once the conversation is finished. Make sure they are the good ones.
Do a quick checklist:
Throughout the conversation do a quick checklist of the following three things that will have them involved in the discussion:
1. Are they actively involved?
Tips on how to get them active:
- Have them write things down on a piece of paper
- Hold the discussion at a whiteboard and get them involved in the conversation
- Make it a walk and talk meeting
2. Are they contributing their own thoughts about solutions?
Tips for getting them thinking:
- Ask open-ended questions such as, what are your thoughts about this situation?
- What other ways can we address this?
- Have we got all the information and resources we need to move forward?
3. How much are they talking?
Tips for getting them talking:
- Pose a question and be okay with sitting in silence if needed
- Keep your eye-contact on the three-point object, it encourages them to speak more
- If you think if you've been ranting for a while, stop. Give them space to speak.
The more active you can make the process during the conversation, the more active they will be after the conversation.
This is such a key component to success that we've dedicated the next module to the 7 ways to get them engaged. You're gonna wanna know these...